


Believe

by lizziepro



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6715951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizziepro/pseuds/lizziepro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun is the philosophy department starchild, priding himself on understanding everything he encounters. Siwon comes in as the challenger though in a class project. Between arguing over who is right and wrong, Kyuhyun feels something for Siwon he doesn't quite understand. Maybe this time he'll believe in something he can't explain...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Philosophy and the Real Boy

You know those big questions in life?

Like, why are humans on Earth?, does everyone have a soulmate?, is God real?...

And, what bothers most people on a daily basis,

What's the meaning of life?

Well, Kyuhyun didn't have to worry about any of this because he had all the answers...

Or at least answers for himself, and no one could change those.

Years of philosophy courses had taught him that making a choice, after days and days of deep, intricate thought would prove useful in the real world.

...But by "days of deep intricate thought", it was actually more like a couple of hours between midnight and 4am sitting wine drunk at his computer trying to write philosophy papers but forever getting distracted by sales on Steam and other online gaming stores.

It's fine though.

Kyuhyun was the star pupil of the philosophy department.

He would turn in these magnificent papers with these grand ideas argued to perfection, no flaws in sight, and he received A+s on every, fucking, one.

 _"How the hell do you even do it, Kyuhyun?"_ Kyuhyun was hanging out with his roommate Changmin one night after winter finals were over. It was toward the end of break and Kyuhyun had just finished registering for classes, piling on three upper level philosophy courses in his last semester of senior year.

What the hell was he thinking?

 _"How do I do what?"_ Kyuhyun took a swig from the wine bottle they were now passing back and forth.

_"How do you manage to pull these ridiculous grades out of your ass when all you ever do is sit here with me, drinking like your dad just told you santa isn't real, and playing video games to distract you from your theoretical dead dog?"_

Kyuhyun smirked at Changmin. Where Kyuhyun didn't need to work, Changmin had to work 10 times harder...........but let's be real, he didn't really.

He kept his grades up enough to keep his scholarship, but was there anything he really needed to do for school beyond that? His job as a bartender seemed to have more promise than his polisci major, even if he did have a wicked internship with the mayor.

It was fine.

He needed to enjoy life a little before being sucked into the black hole that is the world of politics.

And he did so by getting drunk, with his friend, and playing video games.

Because nothing was better.

Anyway, Kyuhyun's reply was less than satisfying for Changmin.

_"It's because I'm smarter than you, obviously."_

_"You couldn't tell me the first thing about the Afghan government if I paid you."_

_"Why the fuck would I need to know that?"_

_"I'm just saying!"_

_"Right, and you couldn't tell me what the hell a Communist is, let alone what Marx talked about in the Communist Manifesto."_

_"Who says I need to know that!?"_

_"You're the polisci student here. Not me. I'm just here to talk theory and drink wine."_

Changmin chucked a pillow at Kyuhyun, hitting him in the head and sending his headset flying. He glared at Changmin, who was now smirking at his best friend.

_"I'm going to bed, asshole. I don't have time for this theoretical bullshit anymore."_

_"IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, THEN GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN."_ Kyuhyun shouted at Changmin as he left the room.

Changmin left, flipping Kyuhyun the bird behind him, leaving Kyuhyun sitting there in a fit of giggles.

As the giggles died out though, Kyuhyun realized he was alone again.

And for as stupid as it was, he wished he wasn't.

Okay, so Kyuhyun isn't the sappiest of people, let alone does he ever reveal any sort of tangible emotion to anyone he wouldn't trust with his life, but nonetheless, if there was one thing he wanted, it was a relationship.

He was graduating in a semester, Changmin was going abroad for a year to study British politics in London, and while the other members of his friend group, so aptly named "Kyuline" would still be there in Seoul, they'd be busy with school. And he knows they take it way more seriously than he ever could.

He'd pretty much be alone, and usually he was okay with that, but, there was something about the idea of late night philosophy talks with a bottle of wine and, well, not Changmin for once. It's happened before, but Kyuhyun is a tough nut to crack, and appeasing his intelligence level is like trying to get a shark not to eat a dead seal when it's thrown right in front of it.

It takes determination and skill to keep Kyuhyun on his toes, and so far, no one has been able to do that.

Again, it was cheesy, but he wanted someone just to hold a conversation with him. A conversation about ideas, about theories, about something that wasn't related to a drunk mishap that happened 8 months ago at a freshman dorm.

He wanted something bigger, something better, something to make him feel like he was worth a lot more than he realized.

Kyuhyun realized he was drunk spiraling into his feelings again and decided that then would be the perfect time to go to sleep.

It wasn't worth getting upset over, or over thinking.

These things come when they're supposed to, right?

He had nothing to worry about. It was fine. He just needed to get some rest.

In a week or so, he'd be back on his A game, which included a little less time to sit and overthink his aptly developed loneliness.

\--------------------------------------

The week passed and it was the first day of classes.

Snow covering everything, and making it difficult as fuck to walk to campus with a blinding hangover.

He couldn't see straight for fuck's sake, so why couldn't the campus facilities clear off the sidewalks?

Had they no decency?

Kyuhyun's first 2 classes went okay.

They were British philosophy, which he had with Changmin, and Existentialism, a class which he was more than positive of his capabilities to do well in.

The final class of the day was Philosophy of the Existence of God.

Personally, Kyuhyun didn't believe in such things as that, but that didn't mean he couldn't argue that God exists otherwise.

Kyuhyun could argue his point any way he wanted.

He liked to think of it as a gift.

But upon entering the room that had no windows, 15 seats, and an actual chalkboard, the likes of which he hadn't seen in years, he knew he'd be arguing his real point of view for this class. Also, it kind of helped that he was in the class with about 13 other students who were Theology majors, and one other kid from his philosophy major. Unfortunately, the kid, named Donghae, couldn't argue his way out of a balloon.

Kyuhyun recognized Donghae immediately and decided to go sit by him. They were decent enough friends, having hung out more than once, but Donghae played soccer for the school, and for Kyuhyun, sports weren't really a reality.

Kyuhyun plopped down in the seat next to Donghae and let his bag fall to the floor. Luckily for Kyuhyun, Donghae was easily excitable by other people who gave him the time of day and stopped snacking on his goldfish just long enough to see that his pal was occupying the seat next to him.

 _"Kyuhyun! Hi! You're in this class too?!"_ Donghae said, goldfish crumbs spitting out everywhere as he talked. He reached over and hugged Kyuhyun through their seats, making it only slightly awkward for Kyuhyun who wasn't much for physical contact.

_"Hey Donghae. Yeah. Last semester, so I thought I'd take an easy class, you know? Get that A+ without much effort."_

_"You're so smart, Kyuhyun. I wish I were half as good as you at this stuff."_ Donghae said, chugging a bottle of water afterward.

That whole stereotype about jocks being really nice, but also really stupid, like stupid in the sense that they couldn't always remember that tomatoes were actually fruits,...that was exemplified perfectly by Lee Donghae.

 _"Nahh, you're smart too. Why do you think you're in this class?"_ Kyuhyun patted Donghae on the back, sending the younger into a fit of smiles.

_"Thanks, hyung."_

_"It's fine."_ Kyuhyun smiled a little, just because Donghae always had that effect on him. Kid was actually hilarious once you got to know him, and yeah, Kyuhyun could stand to hangout with him a little more this semester. Maybe Donghae would be around next year to hangout with? He was close with Kyuhyun's friend Minho because they played soccer together, so that was a plus. Maybe they'd get to be better friends.

The professor entering the room broke Kyuhyun from his thoughts long enough to see Donghae slightly choking on a goldfish, which Kyuhyun tended to with a couple hard pats on the back, receiving a small smile of thanks from Donghae immediately after.

_"Good afternoon, class. This is Philosophy 386, Philosophy of the Existence of God. I'm Father Reagan, your professor for this semester. And if you don't want to have to rethink your whole philosophy on life and the existence of God, then I suggest you leave right now. Because once you know this stuff, you cannot not know it."_

The professor stood by the door with a smug smile on his face.

Kyuhyun had had his classes before, finding them to be the most enjoyable he'd taken. For a priest, this guy was an asshole, and Kyuhyun loved it. He was blunt and to the point, but he didn't want anyone to do poorly. So he pushed his students to rethink their previous knowledge, and, well, while Kyuhyun told Fr. Reagan he was being challenged, he really wasn't.

And who cared if he was lying, he was going to get excellent recommendation letters and a good contact out of this.

That was all that mattered.

Suddenly, as Fr. Reagan was standing at the door, it opened from the other side, and in strode someone Kyuhyun had never seen before.

The guy was tall, dark hair shortly kept, squared jaw, broad, his coat covered in a dusting of fresh snow, scarf now hanging off the edges and threatening to fall toward his snow-covered boots.

If Kyuhyun were to say he didn't think that this guy was handsome, his pants would be aflame from the lies.

 _"Sorry, Professor. It started snowing again and I got caught in the middle of it. You'd think facilities would have the decency to clear the sidewalks, you know?"_ the man said in his deep voice, shaking the hand of the professor and chuckling at the end of his declaration.

At least he understood Kyuhyun's beef with the facilities on campus.

 _"No worries, pal. But let me tell you, if you don't want to rethink your whole philosophy on life and the existence of God, you better leave now, because once you know this stuff, you cannot not know it."_ Fr. Reagan stated once more.

Kyuhyun knew this was his mantra, but it never got old.

_"No, sir, I think I'll be just fine here. I'm Choi Siwon by the way."_

_"Take a seat Mr. Choi."_

And Siwon did take a seat, right next to Kyuhyun, smirking at Kyuhyun before pulling out his pen and legal pad and taking a swig of his coffee.

He was immediately focused on whatever bullshit Fr. Reagan was spouting at the front of the room, while Kyuhyun was focused on him.

Kyuhyun sat in awe of his attractiveness, hitting him in the face like the Titanic hit that iceberg back in the day, but it was what came out of his mouth next that really intrigued Kyuhyun.

 _"Now, who will be the representative to argue in favor of the existence of God for the semester?"_ Fr. Reagan asked the class.

Siwon immediately raised his hand, well, his thumb and first 2 fingers.

 _"I will. God is my Lord and Savior. I will argue as his representative this semester, sir."_ Siwon smiled after the sentence left his mouth.

_"Ah, good. And Kyuhyun, would you like to take the lead for the opposition?"_

_"Wha-Sure. Yeah, I will, professor."_ Kyuhyun was knocked back into reality at that moment.

 _"Excellent! Now, shall I lay the foundation for you all?---"_ Fr. Reagan kept talking, but Kyuhyun didn't hear it.

All he heard was a _"good luck, Kyuhyun"_ whispered into his ear from none other than Choi Siwon, noticing a smug smile on his face as he turned in reaction to the statement.

If the fact that he couldn't breathe while Siwon was sitting next to him didn't already give him enough of a clue, this was more than adequate to let Kyuhyun know he was in for one hell of a semester.

God help him.


	2. "I don't believe in anything."

It had been 2 months of class, and Kyuhyun still hadn't learned how to breathe properly around Siwon yet.

Not that it was becoming a problem or anything.

Who needed to breathe anyway?

You know, Socrates never breathed...but that's a different story…

The project for class required the two opposing sides' leaders to meet once a week, to discuss how their teams were doing, and bounce ideas off of each other to create the best argument their respective sides could formulate. It seemed like a dumb idea, but Fr. Reagan was pretty big on the idea of everyone doing well. So this was the least they could do.

Plus Kyuhyun would never admit it, but he was pretty sure seeing Siwon so often was what was causing his stomach to feel like he’d eaten an entire butterfly house.

Shut up, it was plausible. Kyuhyun would eat anything if drunk enough.

But now Kyuhyun found himself once again sitting across from Siwon at their usual table in the basement of the school's library on a Saturday afternoon. Kyuhyun had gotten there first, thereby claiming most of the space with his scattered notes and philosophy books making a semicircle around his laptop. To be honest, he hadn't looked at his notes nor the books for about 20 minutes by the time Siwon had gotten there.

"Hey Kyuhyun. How are you today?" Siwon said, walking around Kyuhyun to the other side of the table. He gave Kyuhyun's shoulder a small squeeze on the way around, sending a jolt through Kyuhyun. Through his bangs, Kyuhyun looked up, wide-eyed as ever, as he did every week.

Siwon had obviously not yet showered for the day, stubble clearly visible, hair pushed back under a beanie, and white v-neck nicely contrasting his dark jeans and black backpack.

There was no way this was legal.

"Hi." Kyuhyun stuttered out, gulping for air soon after.

"Have a good night?" Siwon asked as he got out his study materials and plugged his laptop into the wall. Kyuhyun watched him carefully as he came back to his seat and sat down, looking earnestly at Kyuhyun in waiting for his answer.

"Uhm, yeah. It was fine."

"You had a party, right? Anything exciting happen this time?"

Siwon took a swig of his coffee and Kyuhyun was mesmerized by the way he could see it move down his throat. It was so gorgeous... What the hell?

"Uhm.........., not really. It wasn't that big of a deal. Just a couple friends, so not much happened."

"Oh yeah? Don't you guys always end up in some form of trouble anyway?"

"Yeah. Well, I mean, my roommate Changmin tried to break an end table over his leg. He was trying to show how strong he was like the Hulk or maybe his soccer coach Hodong. Luckily, our friend Jonghyun was able to talk him out of it before things went too far and we had to have another drunken trip to the ER."

"Those happen often, don't they?"

"Probably once a week or so."

"That's actually crazy."

"We're on first name basis with the staff there."

"I would hope so by now. They have your files out before you even get there." Siwon said, acting like he was flipping through a file. Kyuhyun thought it was cute.

"Probably yeah. Last night was pretty boring in that respect though. We all managed to stay at one place and not get into any barfights, which is a fucking Christmas miracle."

"That's good. You don't need to be hurt or anything because you're drunk. Or, I hope you wouldn't be hurt."

Kyuhyun just looked for a second. He didn't really know how to respond because, well, it was so sincere, and he didn't totally know Siwon that well.

Okay so maybe he knew him better than he cared to admit. The first time they met 2 months ago, very little work was done while quite a lot of conversation was had. Kyuhyun had just come back from the ER that morning at 7am, again after a Kyuline party at which Minho slipped on some tequila that had spilled earlier in the night due to Changmin's carelessness, and flew into the edge of the counter, gashing his face. It was sure to scar, seeing as how it had been a pretty big gash, but Kyuhyun had stayed with him until they stitched him up and released him. Minho was the maknae of the friend group, and Kyuhyun was really good about taking care of his own, so it was only natural that Kyuhyun stay with him. The boys made their way home, and after a 2 hour nap, Kyuhyun woke up. He decided that if he tried to sleep in anymore, he'd end up sleeping like a Snorlax on NyQuil and missing his meeting with Siwon.

And there was no way he wanted to miss that, no matter how anime schoolgirl giggly he was around Siwon.

Therefore, Kyuhyun had showed up on time that day, and Siwon could tell that he'd had a long night.

Siwon had simply asked if Kyuhyun was okay, and Kyuhyun spilled everything from the night before, if for no other reason than he was so stressed from worrying about Minho and hadn't slept, and yeah. He really needed to talk.

He hadn't felt that comfortable talking to anyone in a long time, and it was nice. Really nice.

This week though he hadn't had too much to say.

But then again, he didn't want Siwon thinking he lived a totally debauched life, so he thought it was best for his own sake that he didn't tell Siwon about the streaking dare that resulted in Changmin getting a not so pleasant bruise on his ass. The fucker had tripped, of course, and fallen over a fire hydrant while running backwards around the block, thereby losing the bet.

But that's another story.

"Thanks. It's kind of what happens, but it's fine." Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders and smiled a little at the memory.

"I understand. So, have you done any work on your side of things?" Siwon was now presumably pulling up his notes on his laptop as he wasn't looking much at Kyuhyun anymore.

Was it hot in the basement or?......Kyuhyun subtly made a move for a piece of paper and began fanning himself a bit. It was warm in the basement, judging from the small glisten on Siwon's face, but no one should be allowed to look that handsome while simply looking through philosophy notes.

Not fair at all to make Kyuhyun that flustered.

"I've gotten some arguments together. Mainly against the Cosmological argument for right now."

"So you're working with Hume? Meaning you're going to argue against a priori existence of God?"

"Exactly."

"Well, then how do you 2+2=4?"

"Kindergarten."

"But now. You don't have to do the math in your head each time. You know it exists too because 2+2 not equating 4 is contradictory, and therefore it must exist as such."

"But you can't prove the existence of God nor disprove it, therefore it cannot be a priori."

"And THAT'S why it all comes down to belief. You may not be able to always prove something, but you can believe in things. And that belief can make it real for you, make it fact for you." Siwon pointed at Kyuhyun, making Kyu focus on how nice his hands were for a split second before answering again.

"I don't believe in anything."

"You believe in your ability to bullshit your way through this class." Siwon smiled in retaliation. Maybe he knew his smile fried Kyuhyun's brain, like an iPhone dropped in a toilet.

"So?" Kyuhyun choked out finally, less than pleased with his remark.

"So, that's believing in something without necessarily having proof, since we haven't turned in any assignments yet."

".......................I see your point. Then do you argue the Design argument the same way? The existence of the universe as a result of intelligent design by an a priori being?"

"Essentially, but with a few twists I'm definitely not letting you in on."

"Yah~! That's not fair."

"How is that not fair?"

"You knew how I was going to argue, now tell me how you're going to argue!" Kyuhyun said a bit too loudly, causing a couple heads to turn. Siwon smiled more to himself than anything and shifted his head slightly to the right.

There went Kyuhyun's breathing again.

"I knew because I know the argument opposition too, and which is the strongest, which you would pick. You didn't tell me anything, so I'll leave you with the same task. But, I'll be here if you need me for anything else." Siwon spoke in such a mild manner that Kyuhyun yet again was left without response.

"Okay...Thanks..." Kyuhyun went back to his laptop and shut off the game.

Maybe he did need to work a little bit more this time....mainly to beat Siwon.....but also to show Siwon that he was not one to be easily defeated in his favorite game of mind fuckery.

Kyuhyun made a face as Siwon put on his headphones before flipping through his notes and started typing away on his laptop.

Kyuhyun's mental train had finally arrived at determination station, and shit was about to get real. He opened his Hume book immediately to the index, looking up objections to the argument, and he found a couple.

This was easier than he thought, this whole studying thing.

Why hadn't he done it earlier?

Oh right, because he was a genius.

He patted himself on the shoulder and laughed to himself before getting back to work and typing up arguments and points against Payley's design argument.

\-------------------------------------------  
Siwon looked up slightly over the top of his laptop and saw Kyuhyun move to pat himself on the back and smile.

It was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, and he had no problem admitting that. Not in the least.

Siwon knew even more at that moment that he was truly blessed.

He had seen Kyuhyun around the philosophy department before. Siwon worked there as an assistant and had seen Kyuhyun a number of times come into various professors' office hours for no other reason than to shoot the shit and talk deep ideas.

Okay, so he went to their office hours to get recommendation letters too and be a kiss ass, but only Siwon knew that. It was easy to see.

He had that air about him that made you understand he thought he was hot shit.

Siwon thought it was more endearing than anything.

The boy was cute, coming into the office all covered in snow, nose red from the biting cold.

Siwon might've cooed more than once, but no one had to know about that.

To say he'd developed a slight crush on the boy was an understatement.

And if you could imagine how happy Siwon was when he walked in late to see Kyuhyun sitting next to an empty seat after a trek through the fucking snowpocalypse and waking up probably 20 minutes later than he'd set his alarm for, it'd be comparable only to a small child asking for a puppy and receiving about 10 extra fluffy puppies that stay puppies forever.

Or something like that.

And when he knew that Kyuhyun's pride would probably make him the representative for the opposing side of the debate, he knew that he had to take the leap and be the representative for the affirmative.

He couldn't be happier with his decision.

He'd get to see Kyuhyun's beautiful face on the weekends, one on one, at their table in the basement of the library, where they could be virtually alone, besides that one guy and his friends who played chess and ate flaming hot cheetos in the corner every Saturday afternoon while talking about interior design and maritime law.

If only he could figure out a way to meet Kyuhyun's friends and hangout with him outside of schoolwork.

Then it happened...

\---------------------------------------------------

Kyuhyun had been debating it for some time, and when he asked Siwon to come out with him and his friends that night to a couple of bars.......he'd only regretted it slightly, because his friends were assholes. Maybe even bigger assholes than him.

But it was fine.

Or it would be....maybe.

Siwon had been very cool about the whole thing, agreeing to meet the group at Kyuhyun and Changmin's place around 10 that night so he'd have enough time to go home and get properly ready for a night of debauchery with a group of people known around campus and the general city area for their debauched activities.

The time they stole not one, but two school landmark sculptures was still their greatest feat, and the best part was that no one knew it was them.

Either way, the night was going to be good. Kyuhyun could feel it.

Siwon arrived right at 10pm, just as he said would. Kyuhyun should've known the guy would be punctual. Should've known it from the start.

He opened the door and let him into his apartment, only to be immediately greeted by Changmin and Minho. The 3 were smiling and exchanging hugs, leaving Kyuhyun to stand frozen in the doorway with a particularly confused look on his face. What the fuck was happening?

"Do you all know each other or.....?" Kyuhyun asked, eyes narrowed at his best friends.

"We're personal trainers together at the gym, hyung. I thought you knew that!" Minho said before clasping an arm around Kyuhyun's shoulder.

"Why the hell would I know that?"

"Kyuhyun, I've talked about hanging out with Siwon before. Are you fucking serious? We went out a few weeks back. He was the one who got us out of spending the night in jail after we walked into that old lady's house super shitfaced." Changmin said, laughing at the memory and nudging Siwon. Siwon just smiled softly, acting as if it'd been no huge deal.

"Oh.....I remember now." Kyuhyun replied, face turning red from embarrassment. Siwon had even brought Changmin and Minho back to their place, but Kyuhyun had absolutely no recollection of the fact that it'd been Siwon who'd done so.

"It's fine, Kyuhyun. Did you get anymore work done on your Hume argument after I left this afternoon?" Siwon asked earnestly.

"SHOT. THAT'S A SHOT," a new voice yelled as the person entered the room. It was none other than their friend Jonghyun from Kyuhyun and Changmin's choir class. Accompanying him was their friend Joonmyun, thereby completing the Kyuline group for Siwon.

Siwon looked though at Kyuhyun and tried to find an answer.

"Ahh, there's a rule. We don't talk about schoolwork before we go out, otherwise the person has to take a Patron shot."

"Oh, well, that's fine. To the kitchen I guess?" Siwon said with a smile. Minho grabbed his hyung's arm and led him back to the kitchen to get him his shot, and probably take one with him, while Changmin stayed behind and addressed the matter at hand.

Namely the drool now seeping from Kyuhyun's mouth as he watched Siwon walk away to the kitchen.

Changmin sauntered over to his best friend and nudged his side, smirking a bit, and bringing Kyuhyun back to earth.

"So, you confused yet?" Changmin asked.

Kyuhyun looked up at Changmin, kind of in awe of how easily he could tell, but also mildly pissed because he really needed to learn to have better control over his face when gorgeous people were in the vicinity.

"A little."

"No answer for this one, huh?"

"Not really."

"And it's bothering you."

"It is."

"Because you usually know the answers without even thinking."

"You can shut the fuck up anytime now, you know."

"I'm just saying. I've been your best friend for 5 years now. And judging by that look, you definitely like Siwon...but don't know why you do. He's everything you're not. Also, he loves Jesus a lot, and I mean, I know you go to church and all with your family, but...he loves Jesus...................a LOT."

"I know. I've been working on that debate with him, remember?"

"I remember. He talks about you at the gym."

"WHAT!?" Kyuhyun almost choked on his spit and started coughing, causing the other guys to turn around while Changmin patted his back to try and get him to stop choking like a puppy on a dandelion. Changmin just smiled at them and waved, trying to get Minho to keep distracting Siwon long enough for him to talk to Kyuhyun.

"He does. He says how much you guys have fun and have really good conversation. He says you're the most interesting person he knows. I told him he doesn't know enough people if that's what he thinks, but he just laughed and said he was serious."

"Okay, so what the fuck are you trying to say?"

"That Choi Siwon has a massive fucking crush on you. And even though you've never had a boyfriend, and can't explain why the hell you like him back, you're totally head over heels for him."

Kyuhyun just stood there, letting it all sink in.

"Can't argue your way out of that one, can you? Now, one of you better make a fucking move tonight or I'm going to show everyone picture of you from 4th grade band that I stole from your house 2 Christmases ago."

"Not the ones of me in the Big Bird sweater."

"Those."

"Fine. We’ll see how things at the bar go and I’ll ask him out or something. Just as long as you assholes don’t fucking ruin it.”

“What? Us? Ruin your big romantic gesture toward Choi Siwon, man crafted for you by none other than Zeus himself?”

“Fuck off and die.” Kyuhyun shoved his best friend off of his side before going to the kitchen to join in the beginnings of what would be a very debauched night.

\---------------

The boys made it to the bar around 11pm, it being about a 15 minute walk from Kyuhyun/Changmin/Minho’s apartment. It was one of their favorite hangouts. They were on a first name basis with the bartenders, who gave them free drinks more nights than not, and they had yet to start a fight there. Which was the best part. They were on good terms at this bar, and they planned to keep it that way.

Immediately upon entering, drinks were ordered and the jukebox caught Siwon’s eye.

“Does that thing work?” Siwon asked Kyuhyun, pointing to the artifact. It had to be old as shit, looking like it’d fall apart at any given moment, and to be honest, Kyuhyun didn’t really know if it worked or not.

“It works, barely, and all the songs are from the 70s-90s. We haven’t been able to crack into the damn thing to change the music, but we can get the money out, so that’s what matters.” The bartender answered while sliding Siwon his first beer of the night.

“Well, there’s your answer.” Kyuhyun said as he took a swig of his own drink.

“Let’s play some music then, Kyuhyun! I bet you have a nice singing voice with all that choir you do.” Siwon said, nudging Kyuhyun.

“Oh, heh, not really. I mean-”

“He has more solos than anyone else in the choir, and he’s won first place in every competition he’s ever been in. So yeah. He can sing. I bet he’d sing for you if you picked out a song he liked. I’m sure you know his favorites by now though, right?-” Changmin interjected, wrapping an arm around each guy and smiling like his plan could make him the king of all of Asia.

Kyuhyun shot a glare up at him before elbowing his side, causing the taller man to hunch over in pain.

“Don’t be shy about it Kyuhyun. I’d love to hear you sing.” Siwon said, hand now on Kyuhyun’s knee as they sat at their barstools.

Kyuhyun froze for a moment, body going rigid under Siwon’s touch.

“You’ll have to get him a bit more intoxicated first if you want him to sing though, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Tonight is going to be a good night.” Changmin snided before sliding away back to talk to Minho about a game of ping pong.

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Siwon said with a small squeeze to Kyuhyun’s knee as he got up and made his way to the jukebox.

Kyuhyun turned and followed Siwon with his eyes as he made his way across the bar to the jukebox, bowing and smiling at the couple who were sitting next to it. Kyuhyun still couldn’t shake that nervous feeling. It was a permanent fixture in his life. Unrelenting. And for once, he didn’t hope he’d get totally smashed that night. Maybe drunk enough to make a move on Siwon, ask him to come over sometime, etc, but not to the usual point of no return.

What the hell was happening?

Then the music started. A little tune from the 70s, something funky and upbeat. He knew the song by heart because his family used to play it all the time when he was little. He started tapping his fingers on the bar when Siwon turned around and started dancing. Just shimmying his shoulders and grooving around a bit to the beat. Nothing too spectacular, he looked more awkward than anything, but Kyuhyun couldn’t help but smile. It was cute. It was endearing. It was perfect. Especially when Siwon started dancing a bit toward the table next to the jukebox and making weird faces at them, looking to make sure this choice was okay for their listening pleasure.

Apparently it was as they also started dancing in their seats.

Siwon seemed to have lit the bar up ever so slightly from its previously dull state with a simple Motown song. Kyuhyun’s continued laugh said it all as Siwon continued to dance back over to him before settling back on his barstool.

“We’ll have to dance once I get a little more drunk, if you don’t mind.” Siwon said, finishing off his beer and awaiting his second one from the bartender.

“That’s fine. We’ve got all night.” Kyuhyun said, feeling slightly more comfortable now. He couldn’t believe how comfortable he’d become, to be honest. Siwon set him so far on edge, but also made him relax more than anything else. It was a weird combination, but Kyuhyun was slowly figuring it out.

A few more beers were had, more Motown was playing on the jukebox, and by about 12:45am, Kyuhyun and Siwon were in a heated philosophy discussion.

What else could anyone expect?

“NO! That’s not the point of the blonde beast! He rises up against the crowd, against what is said to be perfect, against what is based on things without proof. He is independent! He is himself! He is reborn and in his childlike innocence, he has no herd to follow, so he won’t become a mindless drone like the rest of the population!”

Kyuhyun hit his fist down on the bar top and Siwon laughed, more to himself than at Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun was getting riled up. And damn if Siwon didn’t think it was fucking adorable. So he argued back…

“I know that, but why does he have to roar out, like you say, against the herd? What is so bad about being part of something so strong that makes so many people happy and content with their lives?”

“Those people suffer and accept shitty life things because they think one day it’ll be okay. With Nietzsche, you have to make your own happiness. It’s all in your control, and you will have total control without belief in some higher power.”

“But how can you say there’s no higher power? It goes back to these ontological arguments that want to prove or disprove His existence. None of them are solid, none of them can be understood because they are above our understanding as humans. They won’t make sense because though God exists, he doesn’t make sense. We will never understand and we have to understand that we won’t understand for there to be any sort of happiness.”

“But why subject yourself to a life of believing something you can never understand? What’s the point of that?!”

“You can’t understand love, but you feel it. You know it’s there. And even if you can’t explain it, you live for it. Constantly seeking it. And I think God is just another kind of realm of love. I don’t know. Does that make sense? Sometimes you just have to go with what you believe, and hope it’s right. Because you can never know for sure.”

While this conversation was happening though, the two men in their own little world didn’t realize that another turn of events was taking place, in the form of Changmin finally getting a girl to talk to him for more than 28 seconds. How she did so was beyond Minho and Jonghyun, to be totally honest, but he’d made a mistake in his choosing of this particular girl.

She was the daughter of one of the star players in the darts league that played all of their games at this particular bar, and who were playing a pick up match at this very moment, placing their cars on the line for their bets, because why not.

With the stakes high, and 2 more throws for the star player, Minho and Jonghyun and Joonmyun wandered over toward the couple, and began singing at the tops of their lungs the rally song for Manchester United. Because they could.

Unfortunately, their attempt to distract and embarrass their dear best friend from his almost successful attempt to get laid that night, they’d also distracted the dart player, and upon seeing his lovely daughter being hit on by what looked like 4 boys all at once, he was more than pissed off.

A roar was released from his lungs as he shot over to the group, pulling the boys apart, specifically grabbing a very drunk Changmin by his collar and holding him up.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, motherfucker?! That’s my daughter!”

And when he made to punch Changmin, he let go a little, allowing Changmin to duck the oncoming blow by mere millimeters, and making room then for Minho to let his ‘must protect the hyungs at all costs’ instincts kick in and take a swing at the dart player, landing the blow right in his lower jaw, and causing a crack to ring out over the music.

Then the brawl started.

Minho and Changmin and Jonghyun being the main Kyuline components of the brawl as they took swings at middle aged men with sharp objects in their hands. Bottles were broken and wielded, only to be pushed aside by the younger men, and punches thrown in accordance. But the boys didn’t get away unscathed. They had their fair share of fresh wounds, namely shiners and blood pouring from what were sure to be fractured noses. It was when one of the dart players picked up a chair to wield at Joonmyun, who was doing nothing but trying to break up the fight, that Kyuhyun gasped and Siwon whipped his head around. Seeing the unnecessary destruction of beautiful little Jonmyun’s face about to happen before his eyes, Siwon lept up like a fucking gazelle and made for the assailant, shoving him over, and pulling Joonmyun away so he was out of the fight. Then the real work began, as Siwon attempted to pull Changmin, Minho, and Jonghyun from the wreckage like fucking leeches. Kyuhyun jumped up too, running to Joonmyun’s side.

“Are you okay?! What the fuck?!”

“I don’t know! This guy got pissed and Minho hit him, and we need to fucking get out of here, hyung. Now!” Joonmyun yelled over the crashing behind him. It looked like a bad Beastie Boys video party, and Kyuhyun wanted it to end now. So he dove in as well, trying to pull out Changmin in particular, since Siwon had gotten Jonghyun out and was about to pry Minho off of another guy. The boys were like mama leopards attacking their fucking antelope dinner in the plains. It was intense to say the least.

As Kyuhyun threw a right hook at the man attacking Changmin, he managed to break his best friend free and look at the damage. Changmin smiled a bloody smile, like a boxer who just got the shit beat out of him, but somehow won the title. It was a smile of success.

“Fuck, are you okay, Changmin?!”

Changmin smiled even more.

“I got her number, Kyuhyun.”

“LET’S GO!” Minho yelled from the door, Jonghyun and Joonmyun at his side. Changmin got up and sprinted for the door, quicker than Kyuhyun had ever seen him, but Kyuhyun was frozen to the spot. What was even happening?!

Just then he saw the glint of a switchblade in one of the dart guys’ hands as it was heading right for his side, and all Kyuhyun could do was close his eyes. He was really going to fucking die in a barfight. This is how this was going to end. Really?

Suddenly a hand grasped his wrist and pulled him so fast he thought he might lose his fucking hand, but then he was running. Running, and running, and running. He didn’t know where. He didn’t know how. But his hand was now being held firmly by Siwon’s much nicer one, as Kyuhyun figured out once he looked up in front of him at a slightly bloodied Siwon smiling back at him, and they continued to run. They knew they couldn’t go home just yet, and the other boys would be just fine, having run to their meet up place probably… aka the McDonald’s about a half mile from their apartment…but Siwon was unaware of this meet up spot for when the group got into little snags. So where would they even go?

Before Kyuhyun knew it, he was being taken into an alley, the roar of the older angry men having long been forgotten. Siwon rounded the corner and pulled Kyuhyun with him, stopping on a dime and placing Kyuhyun between him and the brick wall. He stood with his back to him, peering around the corner like a mama cat watching out for her kitten. Kyuhyun was frozen again, because this was really happening. Fucking Choi Siwon had actually just saved his fucking life.

Siwon turned around to face Kyuhyun, finally, after deeming the coast sufficiently clear enough to turn his full attention to Kyuhyun. He smirked.

“I never got to hear you sing, Kyuhyun.”

He was dangerously close at this point, so close, Kyuhyun could smell the previously consumed alcohol on his breath.

So Kyuhyun just went for it, reaching up slightly, and kissing Siwon full force.

You can blame adrenaline, you can blame intoxication, but for Kyuhyun, it was something more than that, that he didn’t know why he believed in, but he did, and that was what caused him to act.

Call him crazy, but he thought he might just start believing in love.


	3. "Let's live this destiny, Kyuhyun."

If Kyuhyun could've imagined anything more awkward, he probably would've sent a letter to the World Record Books, because his situation right now was insanely awkward, and anything else would've probably sent him into cardiac arrest.  
The last time Kyuhyun felt this awkward, he was in a jail cell next to a man who was presumably drunk enough to think his wallet held the key to Narnia.  
At least he could leave the awkward behind in the jail cell.  
Now the awkward faced him, fully, directly across the table from him, where they sat.  
The sides were split into their respective positions, affirmative and negative.  
Kyuhyun leading the negative, disregarding belief in god, or any sort of higher power, while Siwon sat directly across from him, his side filled with members arguing for the affirmative, or philosophical existence of god.

The past 2 months, post-adrenaline fueled kiss, were not the typical fairytale ending one might've hoped for.  
Unfortunately, they were far from that.

They were awkward, and long, and painful for Kyuhyun at least.  
Siwon had to feel the same way, but neither acted further on their desires, so to speak.

They'd made it home, safe and sound, that night after the fight. The pair met up with the rest of Kyuline, bloodied and battered, at that McDonalds a half mile from Kyuhyun and Changmin's apartment. They'd been holding hands the entire way back, Kyuhyun never feeling so comfortable with skinship in his life. He didn't want it to end, but as soon as he saw his friends, he let go of Siwon's hand.

How the hell was this happening?

He couldn't figure out why he liked Siwon, no answer for the millions of questions of why and how buzzing through his head, so he dropped his hand, and along with it, his bliss. He would ignore what he couldn't answer. He would ignore it because that was the only way he could go on living. He didn't need to believe in something he couldn't explain with coherency or a solid answer, so he just wouldn't.

He wouldn't believe that he was in love with Choi Siwon, and that Choi Siwon loved him too.

Kyuhyun walked forward toward the group, checking out everyone's wounds, beginning what would become a habit of ignoring his love interest.

He could only guess that Siwon would be hurt, neither receiving nor wanting to gain confirmation of his suspicions.

But he knew well enough.

He knew what Siwon was feeling, and if he saw Siwon looking a little less content than normal, then he would know for sure he was the cause.

But he didn't know why he loved him, or if this was even love, and because he couldn't answer that, he had to let him go. No use in trying to understand something he never could.

The meetings leading up to this debate thereby were less than spectacular, less intimate, less comfortable. The dry conversation was nothing in comparison to what it had been the previous half of the semester. Kyuhyun missed it, and he was sure Siwon did too. But there was no way he could live believing in something he had no answer for, no proof, no confidence in its reality.

They'd met up, discussed their arguments, and would leave. Kyuhyun would go home to be reamed by Changmin at first, but it slowly turned into just looks of knowing, looks of wanting Kyuhyun to open up and just accept that someone loved him, he loved them back, and that nothing else mattered. That was all the proof he needed, or so Changmin thought. It broke his heart to see his best friend struggle with ignoring something, denying himself this happiness that would complete him in a way, but he also knew that by accepting this, it'd shatter everything Kyuhyun had built up for so long as his grounds for belief, his grounds for his principles.

Changmin understood, and he knew Kyuhyun was scared, but he wished he could convince him that maybe shaking up his world a bit would be worth it in the long run.

Or, if he couldn't do it, then maybe Siwon would be able to in this debate.

The debate they were now about to begin.

"Opening statements, please, gentlemen." Fr. Reagan said as he sat at the head of the table.

"There are many things in the universe, planets, oceans, galaxies, and people. Where did all of this come from? Was it simply a matter of the "big bang"? Or was it an entity beyond our understanding with the power to create such a masterpiece. Though we may not understand his existence, nor the fact that the planet can be considered evidence as direct experience with god, we argue that he exists." Siwon stated firmly, scanning the table in front of him, small smile on his face.

Kyuhyun let out a sigh and continued tapping his pen against his notebook. He'd never taken notes in a debate before, but today he thought he just might need to. Siwon was going to be a tough opponent, him and his side of the table, yet Kyuhyun still wanted to try to beat him. He knew his side of the argument well. Experience begets existence, and therefore gives answers, explanations. Nothing worked on blind belief/lack of understanding. And he would prove it...

"While we appreciate our time to debate with the affirmative side, the negative will argue for such: To understand that something exists, one must have experiences with it that direct their knowledge of the existence to that first impression or experience. No one has any direct experience with a being such as God, and therefore he cannot exist. This is our position."

"Let's begin, gentlemen." Fr. Reagan said with a clap of his hands, taking a seat behind his own notebook.

Siwon's eyes met Kyuhyun's and Kyuhyun swore he felt his heart stop. Siwon looked happy. Totally happy. Not distraught, not upset. Just happy, as he looked all those times before Kyuhyun had let go.

But he couldn't let that get to him. He had to win this debate. It meant more to him than just a grade now.

Now he was arguing to save his sanity.

Siwon cleared his throat and began his argument.

Points were argued by both teams in favor of their position. Hands smacked on tables, people called out for misspeaking or stating something that could be skewed for the opposition. Kyuhyun was relentless against the opposing side, shooting down each and every point they made with such force it could be seen as a personal vendetta. The teams knew Kyuhyun had something else on his mind, something that made this debate more important than he let on, so they just let him go. Toward the end, when Siwon brought up Payley's Design Argument, things hit their peak...

"Our final piece of evidence to argue for the existence of god is that of the universe itself. Payley compares the universe to a watch found near a stone. It is obvious that the watch is not of the stone, nor could anything around the stone have created the watch. There had to be a specific watchmaker to create the watch, complex as it is. It could not be a natural production. The watch is a metaphor for the universe. It is intricate, made of various complex details that could not simply come together from happenstance nor coincidences as provided by science. It is the result of a creator. Without the creator beyond our understanding or knowledge, nothing would exist."

"You don't know this for sure though. There's no possible way to know for certain that this is how the universe came to be. No books, no experience of the universe being created. It's all based in some sort of skewed idea of belief."

"Yes. It's down to belief. Is that such a bad thing? To believe in something?"

"Hume would argue yes, if it is based in a lack of experience. For Hume, and our position, belief is the result of custom or habit, things being repeated in a manner by which you experience them a number of times and have some sort of knowledge of their existence. Cause and effect is the center of belief. With belief, there is no certainty ever. It is not a geometrical or algebraic truth. It is something based in matter of fact. And one cannot be certain with matters of fact."

"Then how do you venture to explain the certainty of Christians, Muslims, followers of the Jewish tradition, and the like?"

"They have no basis for their belief. None. There is no direct experience with the higher being said to have created the world nor will they ever if this being is of a higher nature than our minds can handle."

"So you're saying that religion and belief in god is based on blind belief, the feeling and not being able to explain it?"

"Yes."

"Why is that a bad thing? Why is this sort of blind belief in such a strong feeling of connection with something beyond our understanding to horrible and destructive to our lives?"  
"Hume states that there are things beyond our understanding, but there is a constant need to explain them. By believing blindly, there is still the advocation of the object beyond belief by philosophers and thinkers. Though many may accept it is beyond their understanding, there will always be someone trying to explain the being beyond. There is no need to do this. It's destructive to believe in things beyond our understanding because we then devote too much time to trying to understand them and not giving enough time to what is solid, found in daily experiences, that is still troubling us. By ignoring the here and now, the corporeal, the concrete, we are losing valuable ability to obtain knowledge that might help future generations."

"But, you mention that Hume says these things are not worth investigating. Isn't that sort of accepting blind belief in itself?"

Kyuhyun stopped.

"What?"

"Overall, in the end, so to speak, Hume himself is an advocate of blind belief. You can have an abstract experience of not only god, but love. The feeling, so powerful in you. So strong and consuming, and yet you can't explain what it is. You can't explain why it's there. But it exists, as a feeling. As something you experience. It is beyond your knowledge, maybe to even be considered something higher than the human mind can ever understand, but it is there. We believe in it blindly. There is no denial by anyone that the feeling exists, even though there may be no answer to its origins. But it exists. Just as god exists. If blind belief and acceptance of your inability to answer the origin question, of god or love, are how you end it, then that's fine. It's not giving up. It's not throwing out your entire life built on answering your questions through experiences and impressions. It's another form of accepting that some things are beyond our knowledge and understanding. Something you can feel so strongly, that bring so much happiness, it can't be all that bad, right? It's not destructive, it's productive. The feeling is there. So accept it, even if you can't explain it, Kyuhyun."

"What if I'm scared to accept it? What if I'm too scared and afraid that if I accept this, then I'll get hurt."

"You won't get hurt."

Siwon smiled softly as Kyuhyun turned pale as a sheet. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to ignore his feelings, ignore what he couldn't explain or answer, ignore what could be his destiny with Choi Siwon.

But he couldn't any longer.

Fr. Reagan cleared his throat and clapped twice, "Alright, closing statements, gentlemen. If you have any?"

Siwon spoke up first, "I have none, sir. I think our point has been proved thoroughly. Kyuhyun? Do you have anything to say?"

Kyuhyun's throat went dry. What the fuck was he supposed to say? His entire world had been flipped upside down in a matter of one class period, and he didn't know what to do.

Had he just been convinced that his love of Siwon is okay? And not just okay, but, well, reciprocated?

In the middle of class?

Lucky for him, Donghae took over, using this as his time to shine, "Blind belief proves nothing toward actual existence of a being or idea such as god. There is still no evidence in the empiricist realm, and therefore we cannot concede to the idea that god exists. Thank you." He smiled and nudged Kyuhyun, who reciprocated with a tight smile, head still hung fairly low, unable to raise his gaze in case he met Siwon's.

"Thank you, everyone. Wonderful debate. I say the negative position wins this round, but next week when we discuss Kierkegaard, we will see if the tables turn. Mr. Cho, Mr. Choi, I'd like you both to stay after class to discuss grading and the overall success of your debate, if you don't mind." Fr. Reagan said with a smirk.

Both men nodded in response and remained seated in their respective seats, gathering their things to leave after their chat with their professor. Fr. Reagan brought over his briefcase and jacket, it finally being warm enough to not be bundled up like an eskimo in the tundra.

"So, first off, absolutely fabulous debate. Fabulous. Gripping. You two must really like each other. I can tell not only have you spent a lot of time together working on this debate throughout the semester, but you've gotten to know each other pretty well too, which is wonderful. The grades I'm giving both of you are A's, and your groupmates will be decided by you. I just need the decisions by the end of next week. I've got a board of trustees meeting to attend at Fordham in New York in about 8 hours, so I should hop my plane. I'll see you both in class on Monday. Ciao." Fr. Reagan was short, quick, and to the point with his discussion, hence why Kyuhyun had always liked him. He was off in a flash, leaving Kyuhyun and Siwon alone in the room, everything they'd discussed and debated laid out before them.

Kyuhyun was trying to will the blush from his face after the comment Fr. Reagan had made about the two men liking each other, and thereby made the mistake of looking back toward Siwon, who was still smiling even after the professor had left. How was he so comfortable with everything? Kyuhyun felt as if the room might burst into flames. The tension was suffocating.

"So, Kyuhyun, did I convince you?" Siwon quirked an eyebrow, almost as if that would help Kyuhyun believe him. so of course Kyuhyun decided to play stupid. Because logic.

"Convince me of what?"

"That you being in love with me is okay."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Need we remember, you're the one who kissed me, Cho Kyuhyun."

"That was a heat of the moment thing. I didn't plan to-"

"But you did. And I kissed you back."

"Are you saying you like me?"

"Are you really that scared?"

"I asked you first."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you so scared, Kyuhyun? Why does being in love with me scare you?"

"Because I can't explain it. Everything that's happened, I've always had an answer, a reason, a cause, an excuse. I don't have any of that with you. I love you. I love you so much, but I can't explain why. And it's bothering me."

"But you can't deny it's there."

"I tried."

"You just failed."

"Don't rub it in, smartass."

Siwon chuckled a bit, sitting flat now in his chair that'd been previously reclined, arms now uncrossed as his hands clasped together in front of him on the table.

"Do you believe in destiny, Kyuhyun?"

Kyuhyun hiccupped out of surprise. How fucking embarrassing.

"What?"

"Do you believe in destiny?"

"Why?"

"You really do have to know pretty much everything, don't you?"

"...........Why did you ask me if I believe in destiny, Siwon?"

Kyuhyun's face took a serious turn, Siwon's mirroring the action in mere seconds.

"Because I think this is destiny. I think us being together is destiny. I can't prove it to you. I can't give you concrete evidence, but I feel it. I can't explain it, but I feel something, something so strong when I'm with you. When we kissed...I for one can't fight it. I think you feel it too though, Kyuhyun. I really do. Am I wrong?" Siwon was now shaking his forearm back and forth, elbow planted on the table, gaze only visible slightly from under his brow.

Kyuhyun could cry right then and there. Siwon had hit a nerve. For as much as Kyuhyun firmly only believed in what could be proved, he had always felt some sort of destiny connection, and when he had kissed Siwon that night 2 months ago in the alley, he'd felt it so much that it scared him.

It felt right, kissing Siwon, so right that nothing else had felt right since.

If he could guess what destiny felt like, that would be it.

Then he felt a hand grab his own, from across the table.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I do. I think I believe in destiny more than anything else I've ever believed."

"And you don't always have the explanation for it, but you believe it. That feeling. It exists for you. Just like it exists for me. So let's live it, Kyuhyun. Let's live that destiny."

Kyuhyun was speechless. He wanted to, he so wanted to, but he was also so scared.

"Don't be afraid, Kyuhyun. I'll be there with you every step of the way. I won't let you be afraid, Kyuhyun. I promise."

Kyuhyun felt a tear slip from his eye, trickle down his face, and watched as it fell to Siwon's hand. He looked up to meet Siwon's eyes, wet with tears themselves. He was more sincere than he'd ever been in his life, and Kyuhyun felt it.

Kyuhyun couldn't take anymore. He stood up, bag slung across his shoulder and he made his way to the door, not looking back til his hand was on the handle.

And then he smiled.

And took the leap,

"Okay, Choi Siwon. Let's do this. You and I."

Siwon's face lit up like a small child on Christmas. Kyuhyun swears he's never seen anything as beautiful in his life. Siwon grabbed his bag, moved swiftly around the table and toward Kyuhyun in a flash. Finally being within reach of him, Siwon grabbed his neck and kissed him so sweetly, with so much love, Kyuhyun could feel it in his bones, the fireworks going off like crazy in his veins.

Siwon was the one to break from the kiss, slowly, forehead connecting to Kyuhyun's, breath deep and slow.

"Let's live this destiny, Kyuhyun. Let's do it."

Kyuhyun nodded before tilting his head to kiss Siwon once more, this time a bit softer than before, but with just as much passion and trust.

Kyuhyun might not be able to explain everything, or have an answer for every question, but with a destiny like this, he didn't need an explanation to know that Siwon was all he would ever need.

And that was alright.


End file.
